I have had a dearth of good novels lately, which makes life grim. I have given up on several, which is always disspiriting. Like how one feels disappointed with a tepid bath, or a favourite pair of shoes with a hole in. However, just last night I started The Confession, by Jessie Burton, which has drawn me in already.
I love being outside even more than usual in this season and have done some long walks with various members of my family. I have been given a super new bike, which I can even attempt slopes on, and it has a splendid basket. I set off along the seafront to cycle to a house boat in Shoreham, but got terribly wet inthe rain. The houseboat was a converted ferry, which reminded me of the old IOW ones. The sitting room was so wide and comfortable, and the bedroom was upstairs in the bit where the captain would drive. It was inspiring and I felt in touch with the elements there.
I may start sea swimming this winter as I have a wetsuit. I've heard it is good for anticipated grief.
Josie
It is busy here in Ditchling at the moment, as family from the north east with three beautiful small boys, are here for half term and are staying in the High Street. My deafness is at its very worst in large groups and I keep guessing what people are saying and getting it wrong, especially with the children. I have this irrational anxiety about feeding them all. I worry about them being hungry. Is this some primeval instinct I wonder.
Today is the dreaded Halloween. The boys are dressed in skeleton outfits. We never did this in the old days, or trick and treats. It was just toffee apples on sticks. We had a good time carving lanterns though, and I made some tasty soup with the innards.
My home improvements have come to nought. The kitchen man never came back. The handyman said he would return at the end of November. I bought a new fridge. Otherwise I will just continue just the same I suppose.
Vicky
Thursday 31 October 2019
Wednesday 23 October 2019
22 nd October
Went to see the fantastic film "Judy" last week, about the legend Judy Garland. I wept several times during the film and thought she was well played by Renee Zellweger. She was a complex, tragic and lovable character, and I have a photo of her on my bathroom wall. The sad fact I realised was that there is no over the rainbow, there is just a yellow brick road. Life is suffering as the Buddhists say.
Sometimes everything goes wrong all at once, and I won't go into personal details, but it has definitely been one of those times. The most cheerful thing around is my cross cat who bites us at every opportunity. The other good news is that Vicky is looking fine. I think the Letrozole is working.
Josie
Son T from Penang came to stay with me for two nights. We played three games of Scrabble which he won. He did the Guardian prize cryptic in half an hour which I had been struggling with for days. He went for a muddy walk up the beacon with Josie and R and came home soaked to the bone. We had good chats. We enjoyed it all.
I am fired up with doing home improvements at the moment. I worry that my home is getting run down like old peoples' homes often do, and the family won't be able to sell it when I depart, so I have been getting in handymen. I did consider having a completely new kitchen because the fridge/freezer suddenly packed up, but in the end, it seemed easier to buy a new one online. It is so difficult to plan ahead. A 94-year old that I meet at the hospice every week has been living with a terminal diagnosis for ten years.
Vicky
Sometimes everything goes wrong all at once, and I won't go into personal details, but it has definitely been one of those times. The most cheerful thing around is my cross cat who bites us at every opportunity. The other good news is that Vicky is looking fine. I think the Letrozole is working.
Josie
Son T from Penang came to stay with me for two nights. We played three games of Scrabble which he won. He did the Guardian prize cryptic in half an hour which I had been struggling with for days. He went for a muddy walk up the beacon with Josie and R and came home soaked to the bone. We had good chats. We enjoyed it all.
I am fired up with doing home improvements at the moment. I worry that my home is getting run down like old peoples' homes often do, and the family won't be able to sell it when I depart, so I have been getting in handymen. I did consider having a completely new kitchen because the fridge/freezer suddenly packed up, but in the end, it seemed easier to buy a new one online. It is so difficult to plan ahead. A 94-year old that I meet at the hospice every week has been living with a terminal diagnosis for ten years.
Vicky
Tuesday 15 October 2019
15 th October
Last week we suddenly felt we were doing too much. At Qi Gong Vick kept falling asleep.
The next day we decided to read Persuasion by Jane Austen aloud to eachother. That felt like a great thing to do with the damp cold weather outside. I have never read Jane Austen, and we can discuss and clarify each page as we go which is an added bonus..
I wonder if we could take up embroidery next. I need to learn to sit down more.
Every day Vick and I write a to do list and it is always complicated. e.g.
Phone handyman re skirting boards
Phone OT re trolley (use buzz words like balance and falls)
Change library books
Empty compost bucket
Go to chemist for anti itch cream
Go to post office; send baby congrat card
Waitrose; (want to try Jamie's meat free recipes; buy mustard seeds)
There are so many lovely people about who pop in too, and many interesting conversations to be had.
On Saturday night I went back to the Royal Free Hospital in Hampstead for my 30 year nurses reunion. I thought everyone looked much better now than they did aged 19, like good wine, improved with age. I marched in the rain along Oxford Street with Extinction Rebellion too, but whether that did any good, I do not know.
Josie
We have a new Darling in the family, my fifth great grandson. I am a supporter of Extinction Rebellion, which is a bit hypocritical since I have done so much to overpopulate the planet. He is warmly welcomed by me however and I hope to see him soon.
There have been many jobs in my bungalow waiting for years to be dealt with, like gaps in the skirting boards, bookcases not fixed to the wall, broken clocks and chairs needing upholsterers. Lately I have felt I want to pass it on in good nick which is totally barmy. On Monday the handyman and the upholsterer turned up at the same time as an OT person to assess my mobility. She filled in a huge yellow file dealing with every aspect of my health and strength and then asked me if there was anything I would like. "A little trolley perhaps?" "Oh no it might catch on the rugs and trip you up", she said.
I felt so sorry for our 92 year old Queen as I watched the state opening of parliament yesterday. There she was loaded with jewels, in a scratchy sparkly dress, making a speech she may not agree with at all.
I wonder if she longs to tell Boris to tuck his shirt in his trousers and brush his hair.
The over zealous cleaners dislodged the stuffing in the holes by the back door. Oh dear the nightly invasion of slugs are back. They have been eagerly waiting for this. Back to the nightly patrols.
Vicky
The next day we decided to read Persuasion by Jane Austen aloud to eachother. That felt like a great thing to do with the damp cold weather outside. I have never read Jane Austen, and we can discuss and clarify each page as we go which is an added bonus..
I wonder if we could take up embroidery next. I need to learn to sit down more.
Every day Vick and I write a to do list and it is always complicated. e.g.
Phone handyman re skirting boards
Phone OT re trolley (use buzz words like balance and falls)
Change library books
Empty compost bucket
Go to chemist for anti itch cream
Go to post office; send baby congrat card
Waitrose; (want to try Jamie's meat free recipes; buy mustard seeds)
There are so many lovely people about who pop in too, and many interesting conversations to be had.
On Saturday night I went back to the Royal Free Hospital in Hampstead for my 30 year nurses reunion. I thought everyone looked much better now than they did aged 19, like good wine, improved with age. I marched in the rain along Oxford Street with Extinction Rebellion too, but whether that did any good, I do not know.
Josie
We have a new Darling in the family, my fifth great grandson. I am a supporter of Extinction Rebellion, which is a bit hypocritical since I have done so much to overpopulate the planet. He is warmly welcomed by me however and I hope to see him soon.
There have been many jobs in my bungalow waiting for years to be dealt with, like gaps in the skirting boards, bookcases not fixed to the wall, broken clocks and chairs needing upholsterers. Lately I have felt I want to pass it on in good nick which is totally barmy. On Monday the handyman and the upholsterer turned up at the same time as an OT person to assess my mobility. She filled in a huge yellow file dealing with every aspect of my health and strength and then asked me if there was anything I would like. "A little trolley perhaps?" "Oh no it might catch on the rugs and trip you up", she said.
I felt so sorry for our 92 year old Queen as I watched the state opening of parliament yesterday. There she was loaded with jewels, in a scratchy sparkly dress, making a speech she may not agree with at all.
I wonder if she longs to tell Boris to tuck his shirt in his trousers and brush his hair.
The over zealous cleaners dislodged the stuffing in the holes by the back door. Oh dear the nightly invasion of slugs are back. They have been eagerly waiting for this. Back to the nightly patrols.
Vicky
Wednesday 9 October 2019
8th October
On Saturday afternoon, I suffered a touch of the melancholy. I felt listless and not sure what to do. I had hoovered the stairs. I had finished my book. There was nothing on the telly. Everyone was out, and the cat looked at me crossly. I spoke to Vicky on the phone. Then I went to bed early.
I slept well and dreamt vividly about my grandmother, Vicky's mum. She was alive and well and had a gold ring through her nose. She had an Interflora business under her stairs. I woke up feeling slightly better and stomped up to my allotment. I wondered if the plants there were as pleased to see me as I was to see them. Lots of muddy produce at this time of year. I made some chutney when I got home and a stodgy apple cake. I took it up to London yesterday to give to the Extinction Rebellion protesters. The apple cake made conversation difficult as it gummed up the teeth.
Josie
I have a fear of large plates of food these days. I'm sure there is a name for this condition. Queasiphobia perhaps? I have gone off lots of food lately, like broccoli, Waitrose quiche, and crisps. It's very odd. And the worst one is alcohol in any form. No G and T with nibbles at 6pm as I used to enjoy in an unquakerly fashion.
I am reading The Diary of a Bookseller by Shaun Bythell which has made me feel better about buying books from Amazon occasionally as apparently, they use small independent bookshops to source their secondhand copies of books. I had a lovely poetry book for my birthday called The River in the Sky by Clive James. It takes the form of one long poem and is described as taking him on a "grand tour of the fragile treasures of his life". Which is a bit like the play we did in the pub a couple of weeks ago.
Two songs at the choir yesterday made both Josie and me cry. I don't know why. One was about the trees reaching down into the dark earth, and the other was; The migration of birds, a nation of outstretched wings.
Vicky
I slept well and dreamt vividly about my grandmother, Vicky's mum. She was alive and well and had a gold ring through her nose. She had an Interflora business under her stairs. I woke up feeling slightly better and stomped up to my allotment. I wondered if the plants there were as pleased to see me as I was to see them. Lots of muddy produce at this time of year. I made some chutney when I got home and a stodgy apple cake. I took it up to London yesterday to give to the Extinction Rebellion protesters. The apple cake made conversation difficult as it gummed up the teeth.
Josie
I have a fear of large plates of food these days. I'm sure there is a name for this condition. Queasiphobia perhaps? I have gone off lots of food lately, like broccoli, Waitrose quiche, and crisps. It's very odd. And the worst one is alcohol in any form. No G and T with nibbles at 6pm as I used to enjoy in an unquakerly fashion.
I am reading The Diary of a Bookseller by Shaun Bythell which has made me feel better about buying books from Amazon occasionally as apparently, they use small independent bookshops to source their secondhand copies of books. I had a lovely poetry book for my birthday called The River in the Sky by Clive James. It takes the form of one long poem and is described as taking him on a "grand tour of the fragile treasures of his life". Which is a bit like the play we did in the pub a couple of weeks ago.
Two songs at the choir yesterday made both Josie and me cry. I don't know why. One was about the trees reaching down into the dark earth, and the other was; The migration of birds, a nation of outstretched wings.
Vicky
Tuesday 1 October 2019
1 st October
Although I do acupuncture all day Mondays, for the rest of the week I can now settle into more focus on the minutiae of domestic life. I can hang out with Vicky for the good times and not just the medical appointments. I can do admin tasks promptly. I can choose to make a cake and buy complicated ingredients. I can hoover my stairs whenever I get the urge, and have porridge with one friend or sit in a field with another. I can look after my foreign students better. I am diligently getting up early and swimming most days as I don't want to Let Myself Go. I am like those retired people who talk about how busy they are all the time. I aim to recycle more, and live better, but not spend much money. If Vicky stays stable I will join the extinction rebellion protests about climate change for a day in London, but I will NOT get arrested. That would not be wise.
Josie
I am sad that I have got to the age of 89 without ever having been aware of Derbyshire before. It is a dramatically beautiful place with towering cliffs and wooded valleys, natural springs and spas all over the place. We stayed in a luxurious spa hotel, a bargain midweek offer. When setting off for home along the M1, Josie banned me from touching the Sat Nav. It was only when we passed Swiss Cottage that we realised we were being taken through central London. Josie drove calmly past Buckingham Palace, Marble Arch, Hyde Park Corner and Park Lane without turning a hair. It was a real treat for me. I never thought I would see those places again. More interesting than the M25.
Sister J gave me a book called The Poetry Pharmacy. It has a poem for every sort of calamity or just to refresh your spirits.
In the words of Alan Bennett
"The best moments in reading are when you come across something- a thought, a feeling, or a way of looking at things - which you had thought special and particular to you. Now here it is, set down by someone else, a person you have never met. And it is as if a hand has come out and taken yours. "
Vicky
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