Vicky has slept for the past 28 hours since I got here but when the lovely nurses change her position she opens her eyes and smiles and says a few words. She's not eating but occasionally has a sip of water. I played her Private Passions, (one of her favourite radio 3 programmes), and I read aloud her emails and poems people have sent, but am not sure how much she hears. We are at present listening to Hania Rani, a Polish pianist who was on Profile on Radio Four today. I have always thought if I was bedbound I would learn so much from Radio Four and that is what I've done today.
Sometimes I get up and roll about on the yoga mat I brought, or stare out of the window, or eat some bread and cheese and potter around the room rearranging things. The nurses bring me flasks of hot water so I can make my own tea. I rub moisturiser into Vicky's hands and feet. I finished my book Big Sky and will miss the tense plotline although none of the characters were particularly likeable.
Vicky did say she wants to die now but it may be many more days I think as she is such a strong woman. In my nursing career, I suppose I observed dying as normally being a very gradual process. Unless it is sudden with an acute event.
I have never been so still in my life. It feels like Vicky and I are in a bubble, floating around in a quiet world.
Josie
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